For Rich or for Poor, in Sickness and in Health, in Paper or in Plastic

"You can reactivate your account at any time prior to your account expiring on 1/1/1900." Thanks, guys, now I feel even safer about my information security. Good thing it's only a dating site, so none of it's true in the first place.

I've been kinda sick this weekend, but I'm sure I know why. On Friday I signed up for a new life insurance policy, which of course won't take effect until I make the first payment. Naturally my State Farmer has been employing a voodoo doll to remind me of my own mortality. I've been effectively dead for the last 48 hours or so.

I would've fared better in the negotiations had I not been woefully outnumbered; my agent had his boss "sit in on" the process. I didn't realize that shopping for retirement plans would feel that much like buying a car, but I guess so. The guy made several arithmetical errors in describing things, not the least of which comparing a 30-year performance of his plan with a 3-month interval of mine.

The end result is that my hypothetical beneficiaries consider me better off dead, and the scary part is they could be anywhere.

Nothing much else is new, aside from seeing a woman in a wedding gown and her presumed groom (in full dress uniform, Air Force I think) killing time in Target yesterday. The official story was that they were there for the photos, which beats my original theory of having a reception in the Starbucks. I tried to get a crew together to pelt them with rice, and one of the stock boys was all for it, but had to ask his boss. "I like this job too much," was his excuse. Granted, he wasn't exactly CEO of the place, but, after considering the blonde co-worker he was paired with, I had to admit he had a point. The next level manager denied his request, and as I, being half dead, didn't feel up to assaulting a GI solo, let the opportunity pass. I guess I can make up for it at my brother's hitching, though. How much rice fits in a slingshot?